Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Is that Doctor Pan, or just Mister?

Or is it Peter Pan, CPA? Whatever your title may be, the fact of the matter is we've all begun to grow up. Despite all our best efforts, Hook has delivered a substantial blow. We've been booted from our college Neverland, and the question remains, what to do? How do we continue our childish dreams, sadly all realities a mere 18 months ago, of loafing all day in an Eden of beer and sex? The answer isn't simple, and I don't think it's the same for everyone, but here are some ideas I have been mulling over for all of you fresh college grads searching.

Move in with college friends. Who better to foster your return to Never Neverland than the very people you shared every moment (keg) with during your stay? Not me personally, but a guy I know was going through a tough time dealing with his post-graduate stress disorder (yes, that's what they're calling it now, and yes there's a prescription (or ten) for it). He was moping around his house with his roommates (mom and dad) until one day he decided to make the move out. Now he's getting invited over his college fling's house, conveniently located around the block, to help her "drill holes" for hanging pictures on her bare apartment walls. Call me crazy but I think his life has improved drastically.

The next step, also a crucial one but often not as easy to fulfill, is to either find a job you love or love the job you find. This is a tough one for all of us who used to scribble in the word "student" (in crayon) in the blank line marked occupation on the official documents that we were forced to complete at the doctor's office. (Lollipop on the way out anyone?). Time to find a new filler for this spot. How about "assistant ______?" Yea that'll work (crayon, too, will still work). You need a way to finance your mini-fraternity house right, so do what you must. And if assistant, or associate, or junior....blank, doesn't feel right, do something else (prostitution) that makes you happy. Peter Pan, Samuel Adams Beer Taster. There, that sounds right, no?

In the end we're all going to have to submit to Hook, but until then hang on tight to all your saving graces: video games, cheap beer, moldy apartments, fast women. To quote a great speech, "the inches we need are everywhere around us." It's up to you to be the badass and just take them. Don't ask for anything, nothing outside of Neverland is free. Until we're old and tired, and probably (definitely) overweight from all the Sam Adams tasting, stay strong. Exercise daily, drilling holes or curling brews, or even hitting the gym if you're so inclined. Learn something new each day (how to mix a mean bloody Mary is a good skill, and one of the many prescribed meds to the aforementioned disease). Whatever you do remember this: the title doesn't make the man, it's the Pan inside that keeps him going. It's a slippery slope, and if you find yourself falling, take a risk. Meet up with friends, get a keg, plan a party. Don't worry, Tinkerbell will still be at your Halloween bash, but trust me she's not looking for a guy in a suit (even you, corny guy who chose to be Clark Kent instead of Superman. What were you thinking?).

1 comment:

  1. A follower of Something Evermore emailed me a very interesting comment. The email was as follows:

    "I love it...'The title doesn't make the man, it's the Pan inside that keeps him going.'

    I was hoping there would be some reference to [the quote], 'What would the world be without Captain James Hook?' What I mean is, if there is no Hook, there is nothing to fight against, and [therefore] no fun. So without that pull to move to conform to higher society and higher education, it's not as fun to fight the temptations and urges to remain Pan, the man."

    There's no doubt that the story of Peter Pan is deeply philosophical. It is riddled with questions of morality that are deeply human, that is, they are rooted in what it means to struggle through the toils of life. Pan begs the question, how can one be considered good, if no one is bad? How can one rebel against a system of expectations (i.e. that you will no longer take the lollipops from the doctor's office after age, I don't know, 12), unless that system is in place and in fact working for a majority of people? My follower, and the writers of the movie "Hook," have picked up on this idea, and the answer is, you can't.

    This actually ties in nicely to my purposes in writing the entry in the first place. The Hooks of this post-graduate world, your boss, your colleagues, anyone who slaves through a day that is consumed by activities in which they'd rather not participate, serve a vital role in the search for an enjoyable, carefree life. It's like Pacino said in Scarface, "You need people like me so you can point your f*%#ing fingers and say, 'that's the bad guy.'" There isn't any right without a wrong upon which to base judgement.

    The world without Captain James Hook would be a world unknown to humankind. Thus, you should thank him. For he has taken on the burden of acceptance. Let agony and boredom be his day-to-day. Take, for yourself, Pan's role. Live fully. Get out of the house. Get out of the office. Find something you love and go with it. Fly to Vegas. Don't forget the things that made you laugh. For me that's the only way to justify my time.

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